Are You The More Sensitive One in the Relationship?

Let’s be honest: relationships are complex, no matter what kind of personality you have. And some truths are universal, like fighting is never fun. Romantic gestures are usually appreciated. Communication is definitely valued. Compromise isn’t always easy.

But a lot of these nuances are only heightened if you’re of a more sensitive nature. Below are nine things to keep in mind if you’re in a relationship with a highly sensitive person.

Highly sensitive people are internally rather than externally motivated. They seek intangible rather than tangible rewards in life. If they’re in a relationship with someone who’s more externally driven, they may withdraw and become subdued because they don’t share the same interests.

A relationship will always have problems if one is doing more than the other. Less people can let go of it when they give more than what they receive, with sensitive people it becomes even a greater deal.

So read on. Here are some signs that will tell if you really are the more sensitive one, good or bad, you decide!

1. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS HIGH ON CELEBRATING BIRTHDAYS AND ANNIVERSARIES

This one is a HUGE tell sign. Sensitive people will try and always remember birthdays, anniversaries etc. You are the one who remembers the first time you met, the first time you thought they were the one, the first thing you got each other, the first time you fought.

Even the first time one of you forgot all these first-times!

Also celebrating them, may it be a flower or a gift, just something special to mark that day. It is a big deal and your other half is in trouble if something comes up one of these special days and you both can’t really do something special that day! Again, dates and days are very important to them.

2. YOU ARE ALWAYS THE ONE TO SECOND GUESS SOMEONE’S ACTIONS OR WORDS

“Did they mean it like that? I don’t think he really likes me? Did you notice, they weren’t being themselves? I felt they were a bit a cold? Do you think she is upset or something?”

If you are the one to use these sentences for anyone other than your partner or even them, know that you are the sensitive one. But it is at times good, you are able to predict a lot of things beforehand because of your apprehensive nature. This often saves you from getting hurt and also stops you from hurting your partner.

3. YOU LIKE SPONTANEITY AND SURPRISES

There is nothing you love more than surprises. A kiss out of the blue!
A little compliment while showing you off to your friends. A movie night at home, a home-cooked dinner, a surprise day off from work. All of these things count a lot for you. This is great for the relationship also because you are mainly the one who keeps the sparks going even after plenty of years.

Sensitive people, if handled correctly, can be the greatest thing that can happen to you and for sensitive people, if you really want to be the best thing that ever happens to anybody then you have got to take the backseat once in a while. There is nothing wrong with that! Doing too much raises your own expectations from your partner. And remember, not everyone is as sensitive as you. So where you are trying to make them feel special, they might also feel overburdened with those additional expectations. Free yourself from getting disappointed at time and free them of that added pressure.

How to Cast The Venus Love Spell

7

Magic love spells can be used to attract true love, attract a new love, bless a new love relationship, maintain unconditional love, make love return, and to establish stability in a relationship.

Begin the spell on Friday, the day traditionally associated with Venus. Repeat the ritual for seven consecutive nights.

This spell is cast skyclad (naked) in absolute privacy. After a cleansing and relaxing bath, perfume your body with the erotic oil Ylang Ylang. Choose a magick area in your bedroom, lay out the white cloth ans position yourself in front of the mirror. Cast a protective circle, light the red candle and incense, focus your sexual energy and chant:

Repeat the chant seven times, placing pins in the heart one at a time after repeating Seven times i pierce thy heart. Blow out the ceremonial candle and incense, leaving the pins in the heart until the following night.

What Does Your Lingerie Say About You and Love

5

The signature of a truly fabulous woman is her lingerie drawer. Everyone can dress up to the nines, but it’s what lies beneath that counts. Yes, it’s true – your lingerie says a lot about you! What’s your wonder(bra)ful personality type? We’ll tell you.

Designer Lingerie
When you buy by the brand and inevitably wear a matching set, your hope is to fall in love with a successful member of the establishment. Sexy lingerie confirms that you are his attractive partner. The roles in your love life are deeply established and contingent on him continuing on the road to success while you work your best to stay gorgeous as his reward.
White Cotton & Sensible
Most girls start out here and evolve as their world-view and self-image begin to change. Quite a few return to this combo and its comfort and convenience underscore a desire for a traditional love life. Maybe skip the white picket fence, but a good husband and eventually having children are central to the picture of where you see yourself and your life in the hopefully not-too- distant future.
Thong
This colorful and provocative bottom often has a revealing high strap. What you are really looking for in love, though, is a man who sets limits with you. Your deepest desire is to be told to dress more conservatively and since you so want to please the man telling you this, you comply. You are provoking to test the limits because you want a father figure to strongly school you in the ways of love.
Body Shapers
These trendy undergarments are made to hold in your belly, waist and often your thighs. If being chunky ever comes back in style, these will be relics from a bygone era. Something this trendy and appearance altering reveals your desire for acceptance. A man should be overjoyed if you are wearing this type of lingerie, as it reveals you to be submissive and living to please him at all costs.
Panty Hose and a Boring Bra
In covering your legs and approaching your intimate wear with practicality over everything else, you are holding back in looking for love. Perhaps there is a broken heart in your past that taught you that love hurts. Now you make sure to reveal nothing to the world that might inspire such a hurtful occurrence again. It is not that all hope is lost, though. Your commitment to healing by emphasizing personal comfort over style is a commitment to getting better in order to be the best possible partner should a good relationship come along.
Bikini Bottoms and a Push-Up Bra
In an attempt to look your best, sometimes you have to augment what is there … but don’t call it false advertising. In making the most of what you have you are advertising yourself much like a product. When you treat yourself like a commodity that will go to the highest bidder, your true feelings about love liken it to a commercial transaction: deliver a quality product to the customer and you are both satisfied. That is, until one of you gets the urge to go “shopping” again.
Sports Bra / Workout Underwear
If you work out often, you will get in the habit of wearing the underwear that is most comfortable for physical exertion. This is also an indicator that your hopes for love are completely in your own control. Your confidence and dedication to being the best you can be and staying in great shape translates into only accepting healthy relationships into your world and not modifying who you are to fit the needs of a partner.
Garter Belt with Stockings and Lace
Don’t you just love to take the extra time to add a sex appeal that causes more than a few gawkers to get the hint? This sense of drama drives your hopes for love. You want a rebel and a rock star all rolled into one and you might break a few hearts along the way as you search for this demigod of a stud. What you might find along the way is that all that drama and excitement only ends up scaring the good ones away and love only becomes more difficult to attract.
Corset
The old school way of modifying your appearance is also a way of training your body to eat less and getting the gorgeous hourglass figure you deserve ahead of the diet. Your hope for love is described in the willingness to put up with a little pain and modify what there is to be gained, all in the name of being who you are: a true partner willing to put the work into a relationship to make it work.
Underwear as Outerwear
This is a trend that pretends to be revealing but in reality is a refusal to start the healing. You will not see a girl experiment with this stage of style for long, but a woman who adopts this look is letting the world know that she has a broken heart and does not want to let it heal. Long-term continuation of this look can lead to a self-destructive streak.
Men’s Underwear
Some of the most feminine women wear men’s underwear. It is not a political statement of equality. In fact, women who avoid the trappings of femininity in order to maximize comfort are often women who are quite secure in their bodies and sexuality. These are women who might even be experimental and see love as a fluid relationship that need not be tied to monogamy if partnership pleasure can be found somewhere down the road of excess.
Commando
Going out without any underwear on is called, “going commando.” This label implies a wild recklessness, but nothing could be further from the truth. Commando is your way of being in complete control. Once a lover knows you wear no underwear, the idea is always present that what you possess is at the ready – this heightened sense on his part makes intimacy between you two yours to control. There is nothing for him to remove; he must await your permission. Commando mission accomplished: Complete control acquired!

If more than one style above would apply to your choices in lingerie, perhaps you are in transition and are subconsciously changing your aspirations in love. Pay attention to what in a man attracts you and how that differs from your taste in guys a year ago – you will find that you are changing your lingerie style as your hopes for love shift to different desires. It is totally natural to change what you will let him take a peek at as your ideal of who he should be evolves.

How to Cast the Innocent Attraction Spell

9

This spell could help you to feel more attractive, to gain more self-confidence in relationships, to attract your desired love partner (current or new) to you like never before.

You will need the following items for this spell:

Red/pink (pen/colored pencil/marker/crayon)
Full moon (optional)
Paper (About a fourth of the page)
Voice
Night/Bedtime

Love is usually the most popular spells, even if Im not that interested. This will make whoever you love to feel the same way about you. Use wisely.

Casting Instructions for ‘Innocent Attraction Spell’

***Step 1*** Write down your crush’s full name in the red/pink writing utensil, then draw a heart around it. Under the heart, write “will fall in love with (your name here)”. Draw more hearts around your names.

***Step 2*** Fold the paper three times, and hold it to your chest, thinking about the person you’re in love with. Visualize them clearly.
***Step 3(optional)*** You don’t have to do this, but it will strengthen the spell. Hold the paper in the moonlight, thinking about him/her.

***Step 4*** Kiss the paper, and hold it so it barely brushes your lips. Close your eyes and sing this: “Let my love fall for me.Let he/she want to be with me. We will love each other for eternity. This is my will so mote it be.”

***Step 5*** Thank the goddess of love,then put the paper underneath your pillow as you go to sleep.

***NOTE*** Yes, you have to memorize the song. You can do steps 3-5 every night for a week and it will more likely happen, but you can also just keep the paper underneath your pillow until it happens, while falling asleep thinking about your crush. Make sure to thank the goddess every night.

How to Cast the Love Perfume Spell

5

The benefits of this perfume are. You can attract whom you love. Your lover will come close to you and will listen to you. People will start liking you. Even those who are jealous of you will change their attitude towards you. You can start dominating the people. If you are going in for an interview and you thing that it will not be in your favor, but after applying this perfume you will pass the interview easily. If you are working in an office you will have no problem with your bosses. Your boss will be lenient with you. People will thing positive about you. You will be able to convince any body very easily.

You will need the following items for this spell:

Perfume
Soap
Rose petal
Lipstick
Lotion
Water
Two pieces of yar
Jewelry

Use this perfume when near your crush and it will attract him to you!

Casting Instructions for ‘Love perfume Spell’

First mix about a 1/4 cup of water with 30 sprays of perfume. Shake the two together in a spray bottle. Next mix in lotion and soap. While doing this say: ”I use these things to make me pretty, let (insert name of crush here) relize that I am pretty in many ways.” Set aside. Now take one piece of string and say: ”let this string represent my lonesome soul.” Pick up the other string and say: let this piece of string represent the beautiful soul of (insert name of crush here). Tie the strings In a knot and leave them in the perfume. Put on the lipstick and kiss the rose petal. Place the rose petal in the perfume. Now place the jewelry in the perfume and let it sit for 5 mins. Wear the jewelry and perfume when you see your crush and he will be attracted to you!

5 Easy Steps on Writing Your Own Spell

7

If you’re going to write a spell, it should be specific to you and every individual. Even if following a traditional spell, it should be tailored to your specific needs to be the most effective for you. Understanding the basics of spell construction will enable you to formulate your own specific, effective spells for any purpose you choose.

Figure out the goal or intent of the working. What is it you wish to accomplish? Are you looking for prosperity? Hoping to get a better job? Trying to bring love into your life? What is the specific aim of the spell? Whatever it may be, make sure you’re clear on what it is you want — “I will get that promotion at work!”
Determine what material components you’ll need to achieve the goal. Will the working require herbs, candles, stones? Try to think outside the box when you’re composing a spell — remember that magic relies heavily on symbolism. There’s nothing wrong with using unusual ingredients in a working — Hot Wheels cars, chess pieces, bits of hardware, sunglasses and even old DVDs are all fair game.
Decide if timing is important. In some traditions, moon phase is crucial, while in others it’s not significant. Generally, positive magic, or workings that draw things to you, is performed during the waxing moon. Negative or destructive magic is done during the waning phase. It may be that you feel a certainday of the week is best for the working, or even a certain hour of the day. Don’t feel obligated to drown yourself in the details, though. If you’re a person who feels confident doing magic on the fly without worrying about timing, then go for it.
Figure out what wording or incantation — if any — will be verbalized during the working. Are you going to chant something formal and powerful, calling upon the gods for assistance? Will you simply mutter a poetic couplet under your breath? Or is it the sort of working where you can simply ponder the Universe in silence?
Put all of the above together into a workable form, and then, in the immortal words of the Nike commercial, Just Do It.

Tips:

Despite this being a very bare-bones and simple way of looking at spell construction, it does work effectively. You may wish to keep a magical journal or make notes in your Book of Shadows during the spell construction phase, and then keep track of results as they begin to manifest.
If a working hasn’t begun to manifest within a few weeks — some traditions say within 28 days, a lunar month — you may want to stop and revisit the working. Figure out what variables may need to be changed.
The Universe has a quirky sense of humor, so make sure anything you cast a spell for is worded correctly. In other words, be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it!
Remember that magic is a tool and a skill set, but some common sense should prevail as well. You can cast all day to get yourself a job, but your chances of success are greatly reduced if you haven’t pounded the pavement and sent out copies of your resume!

How to Overcome Your Neediness

8

A lot of us go through life feeling needy of affection, approval and attention from others. This causes us to focus on the “outside” while disconnecting with our inner space of being. Neediness always arises from lack based thinking and a self-critical mindset. People who are self-critical are usually always seeking approval and affection outside themselves and hence end up becoming “needy” in their behavior. Also, a lack based mindset causes people to think that they need to “cling” to someone because they feel that life will not bring in new/better relationship if they let go of this one. Neediness is a highly toxic mindset and it immediately makes your point of attraction to be rooted in lack. Overcoming the attitude of neediness is all about letting go of viewing life from the lens of lack and developing the mindset of self-love through self-alignment.

Do you feel like they’re pulling away from you? People tend to pull away when they feel smothered. To regain the balance in a relationship, you have to be willing to give the other person some space.

Your Relationship is Energy

Think of a relationship as energy. If a couple is equal in their attention and affection, there is balance and harmony in their relationship. But if one person gives more than the other person is willing to give, the balance shifts. Then one person becomes distant and the other person becomes needy and desperate for the affection they once had. It can become a vicious cycle and one that has the ability to intensify. The result is a serious relationship crash and burn.

Space and Room to Breathe

Being clingy in a relationship won’t get you the closeness you want. In fact, it will push the object of your affection away. But if you give them space and room to breathe, you’ll draw them closer. It may sound counterproductive, but in order to hold onto something in a genuine way, you need to be willing to let it go.

There’s a big difference between “I want you because I need you,” and “I need you because I want you.” If you want someone desperately because you need them to make you feel whole or complete, that’s a lot of pressure to put on a person and a relationship. It scares people and makes them run and hide no matter how much they liked you in the beginning. When you need someone because you genuinely want to be with them, that’s an entirely different feeling. When you both want to be with one another, the feeling is mutual and the energy between you is equal.

You’re Needy if…

1. You Call/Text Excessively: What’s excessive? Calling or texting someone several times before they return your call or text is excessive. Don’t assume they’re ignoring you. They could be driving, in the shower or busy at work. They’ll call or text you back. If you call or text them too many times, when they finally get back to you it won’t be pleasant.

2. You Need to be With Them Every Second: Don’t mistake their desire to spend time with friends, family or pets as a lack of affection for you. You don’t have to spend every second of the day together. If you did, you wouldn’t have much to talk about. They’re busy and their life doesn’t revolve around you. Try being busy yourself so you’re not obsessing over not being together. Savoring your alone time keeps you from pushing them away.

3. You’re Constantly Jealous: Being in a relationship with someone you don’t trust makes you miserable. Also, being with someone who doesn’t trust you makes you miserable. Unless you’ve had the exclusivity talk, assume they’re dating other people, and you should be too. If you’re in a committed relationship, you should be able to trust your partner and not feel constantly jealous. Even if they’re speaking to the opposite sex, you shouldn’t worry that they’re cheating on you. Jealousy leads to anxiety and anxiety leads to neediness. You’re pushing them away.

Be Independent

We all want to feel needed and wanted, but there is a limit. Independence is an attractive quality, and you don’t seem independent if you constantly need to be around your partner. Neediness isn’t attractive. It pushes peoples away from you and makes you a lonely person. If you have a tendency to be needy, I suggest you do the opposite of what your needy instincts tell you to do. For example, if you feel like texting them over and over before they’ve responded to your first text, stop yourself. Find something else to do.

Which Candle Should You Use?

6

images (46) One of the simplest forms of magick is candle burning. It is simple because it employ’s little ritual and few ceremonial artefacts. The items required can be purchased in many shops and it’s ritual’s can be practiced in the comfort of your own home.

The candles you use for any type of magick should be virginal (new and unused). Candle’s which have already been used may have picked up vibrations which will distract from your purposes.

The size and shape of the candles you use is unimportant, in fact the simpler the better. What is important is the colour of the candle you use. Brief guidelines are shown below:

WHITE CANDLE: Represents Purity, Spirituality, and Peace. In some cultures it is the color of Death and Mourning.

RED CANDLE: Represents Health, Energy, Strength, Sexual Virility,Courage,and the Masculine Principle in Nature.

PINK CANDLE: Represents Romantic Love, Affection, Friendship

YELLOW CANDLE: Represents Intellect, The Powers of the Creative Imagination, Memory, Communication, and Mental Agility.

GREEN CANDLE: Represents Abundance, Fertility, Good Luck, and Harmony.

BLUE CANDLE: Represents Healing, Truth, Inspiration, High Wisdom, Occult Power, Psychic Protection, Understanding, Good Health, and the Feminine Principle in Nature.

a1ba4e0679daa08b85333968048263a9 PURPLE CANDLE: Represents Success in Financial Affairs, Psychic Ability, Idealism, Spiritual Powers.

GOLD CANDLE: Attracts Positive Influences, and it’s connected with Justice and Career Matters.

SILVER CANDLE: Represents Clairvoyance, Astral Energies and Channeling. Also the faculty of long term memory and remembering past lives.

BLACK CANDLE: Can be used for grounding negative Energies and also can be used for protection.

BROWN CANDLE: Used for feeling of Self Esteem.

ORANGE CANDLE: Represents Attraction, Stimulation, Control, Personal Strength, Authority, Luck, Ambition, Property deals.

MAGENTA CANDLE: Energizes rituals where immediate action and high level of power or spiritual healing is needed quickly. Quick changes, Exorcism, Spiritual Healing.

LAVENDER CANDLE: Represents Intuition, Dignity and Spiritual Shields.

COPPER CANDLE: Represents Financial goals, Business, Career Strategy and Professional Growth.

INDIGO CANDLE: Represents Color of inertia, stops situations or people, use in rituals that require a deep meditation state.

ROYAL BLUE CANDLE: Represents Promotes laughter, happiness and loyalty, use whenever an influence needs to be increased.

LIGHT BLUE CANDLE: Represents Spiritual color, helpful in devotional or inspirational meditations, brings peace and tranquility to the home, employ where a situation must be synthesized.

candles EMERALD GREEN CANDLE: Represents the Attraction of Love, Social delights and Fertility.

DARK GREEN CANDLE: Represents the color of ambition, greed and jealousy, counteracts these influences in a ritual.

GREY CANDLE: Represents Neutral color, useful when pondering complex issues during meditation, in magic this often sparks confusion, it also negates or neutralizes a negative influence.

7 Cohabitation Tips to Live Happily Together

6

Cohabitation is a trend that has become increasingly popular among modern couples, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a big step in a relationship. It is often said that cohabitation is the prelude to marriage, and that does make it a serious commitment.

Cohabitation can be exciting, but it also comes with its share of pitfalls. Use these 7 tips, and you’ll see that life can be so much better!

Define This Next Step

What does cohabitation mean to you? Is it a test to see if you can live happily together once you get married? Or, is living together enough of a commitment for you both? If this is a stepping stone or the end of the line for your commitment, you need to know before you move in together.

Don’t Lament the Disappearance of Your “Perfect” Partner

What happened to that guy with the clean apartment who always shaved his face and wore clean clothes? Who’s this burping, farting, and toenail-clipping-at-the-table guy who wears the same underwear two days in a row? OMG, he pees with the door open and never replaces the toilet paper! Now that you live together, you’re going to see the real, human side of your partner, just like they’re going to see the real, human side of you. They’re going to feel your stubbly legs, see you without makeup and with unkempt hair. They’re going to know you poop and get your period. Shocked? Get over it!

Make it Both Your Spaces

Your home should be a reflection of both your tastes. That can be hard to do if one partner gives up their home to move into their partner’s home. You don’t need two coffee tables, two couches, or two beds! The rule of thumb should be to keep the item that’s in the best shape. This is also going to require some compromise. You may have to sell something you love or at least put it in storage because your new home doesn’t have the space for it. That’s okay. Your partner will be giving up some of the things they love too.

Share the Chores

If you both work, there is no reason why you can’t share the household chores. Make a chore chart and stick to it. Decide how often the house gets cleaned. If one of you neglects your chores, the other is going to feel resentment and resentment is not part of happy cohabitation.

There is a fear common among anti-living-together people (most likely your mom or grandmother), that any woman who lives with a man she isn’t married to turns into a 1950s housewife. Suddenly she is cooking and cleaning and giving him sex for free! Unless you actually want to do all the cooking and cleaning, you don’t have to worry about magically turning into that woman. And as far as the free sex things goes, it might be a shock to those same anti-living-together people to learn that women enjoy sex just as much as men do. Sex isn’t a commodity, so you’re not giving anything away for free.

Have Your Own Hobbies

Just because you’ve taken the next step in your commitment and chosen cohabitation, it doesn’t mean you have to give up the hobbies and activities you enjoy. Keep doing what you love, outside of the house. Whether it’s a fitness class, community garden, or writing at Starbucks, stick to it.

Have Your Alone Time

You don’t have to be together 24/7. You each need your alone time. Go out with your friends and leave your partner at home. Send your partner out with their friends so you can enjoy a night of peace and quiet on your own. Give yourselves the opportunity to miss each other and have separate adventures so you can tell each other about them later.

Share the Bills

If you both earn money, you both pay the bills. If one partner earns more than the other, they can pay for more things, but each of you should be contributing financially to the lifestyle you lead and the home you keep. Like chores, if one person gets stuck paying for everything, resentment builds.

So how do you make your cohabitation work?

8 Signs You Aren’t Ready For A Relationship

7

I know what you’re thinking right now. “Of course, I’m ready for a relationship. It’s what I’ve been waiting so long for! I just need to know how I can get one started!”

Well, I’m certainly not arguing that you want a real relationship. I’m asking if you’re ready for a real relationship. That one’s tough to answer, because it entails really looking at yourself and your beliefs, attitudes and behaviors in a real, open, and honest way. And that’s never easy.

If you’re wondering if you’re ready for the next new thing, but aren’t totally sure, here are some clues that you might just have a little more renovation to do before you get back in the game.

1. You’re Still In Love With Your Ex

Rationalize all you want. Make every excuse. Tell yourself and anyone who will listen that you’re done, through, finito! But if your everyday world is booby-trapped with physical reminders and emotional landmines that consistently blow up and send you reeling into either fond or angry reminiscences about the one that got away–like the makeup she left behind in the medicine cabinet that you haven’t gotten around to tossing, or the T-shirt of his you still sleep in “because it’s really comfortable”–then chances are, you’re not over your ex.

What You Can Do About It

Some people who have lost love, especially those who feel badly burned by a romance soured, take the “scorched earth” approach and banish every scrap of evidence—physical and emotional—of their former flames. There’s certainly something to be said for the cathartic element of clearing away failed love in one fell swoop, however, by pretending your former partner never existed, you are likely refusing to acknowledge the truth of what went wrong in the first place.

The opposite extreme are those of us who just can’t let go of anything that reminds us of our exes. This often happens when lovers hope, openly or secretly, that the object of their former affection may be coming back. Again, this type of rationalizing and denial is only holding you back from moving ahead, because it keeps you stuck in the “emotionally unavailable” zone.

There’s an old saying that goes, “if you love something, set it free,” but what many don’t understand is that if you can “let things go” in a healthy way by honoring and integrating what you’ve learned into the present and moving ahead, rather than denying or ignoring the past—you will set yourself free as well. If it’s truly “meant to be,” that lost love may return, and if not, you’ll be ready to embrace something new.

2. You Think Being With Anybody is Better than Being with Nobody

Many people feel the need to be in a relationship because, plain and simple, they’re afraid of being alone. Some use being in a relationship to validate their existence. Others have abandonment issues, and are constantly trying to fill an emotional void, that, like a metaphoric black hole, is not something that can ever be filled. Whatever the motivation, the core of most discomfort about being trapped in life at a “table for one” has to do with lack of self-esteem.

What You Can Do About It

Your mental house not only needs to be cleaned, but you also need to shore up structural damage. The first step you should take is making an honest assessment of broken behavior that has neither served you in the past, nor will further your cause in the future. Learning to differentiate between “being alone” and “being lonely” is a process that can take time, and may require professional assistance.

If you look into the mirror and don’t like what you see, or feel incomplete unless you’re in a relationship, a consulting a romance advisor to help shed light on problems that are staring you in the face that you still don’t notice might be the perfect place to get the relationship ball rolling in a more productive direction.

3. Everyone You Know is In a Relationship, So You Should Be, Too…

Peer pressure is a powerful thing, and falling prey to it can lead to poor decision-making, even as we get older. When all your peers seem to be paired up, and you’re left standing out in the cold, the impulse is often to hook up with the next even semi-sentient creature that comes along and project “happily ever after” on them, no matter how ill-suited a partner they may be.

What You Can Do About It

If friends and family are making you uncomfortable about being alone, or constantly trying to fix you up with all the wrong people, take a moment to step back from the “madding crowd,” and reflect on what it is you really want from your next long-term romance. As difficult as it may be to see the people you know contentedly coupled when you’re not, do your best to be happy for them, but stop comparing what they have with what you don’t–because it’s a waste of time and energy that would be better spent investing in yourself.

Of course, feedback from trusted friends can be a positive resource, but what will be of more value to you will be learning to trust your own instincts and appreciate that your needs are not necessarily the same as other people’s. When you have a clear idea of who you are and what you want, the universe has a way of bringing it into your life.

4. You’re a Romance Junkie

You love being in love. The thrill of the chase fills you with ecstasy. The first rush of passion is your favorite natural high. But when reality sets in, you begin to feel trapped. Suddenly, there are cracks in the façade, and your new love doesn’t seem as perfect as they did at first blush. Little by little, their flaws and idiosyncrasies begin to annoy you. Even things that drew you to that person in the first place begin to seem less than appealing. Your dissatisfaction grows, and you feel chafed by the confines of boredom as more and more, familiarity breeds contempt. So… you either A) break up with the person you once thought was perfect, or B) start seeing someone else behind their back.

What You Can Do About It

Grow up. Sound harsh? That may be true, but if you’ve got a revolving door on your love life because you love “the idea of being in love” more than the actual process of loving someone and having them love you back, you’re not ready for a mature relationship. Sure, it’s fun to be the kid in the candy store, but we all know stuffing your face with gobs of sweets is not something that’s going to end well, nor will happiness be found in grabbing at every shiny new thing that comes your way.

If you’re young and not ready to settle down, there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you understand it yourself, and make it clear from the beginning to the people you’re dating that you’re not ready for the long haul yet.

5. You Think Having the Right Partner Will Solve All Your Problems

Mr. Right. Prince Charming. Betty Crocker. Whatever your idea of the perfect partner is, there’s no such thing, nor is anyone going to sweep into your life and magically erase your every current woe. Long story short: If you believe that being part of a couple is the answer to all of life’s conundrums, you haven’t got your head screwed on straight.

What You Can Do About It

The most mutually beneficial love partnerships require a 50/50 share of the commitment, so it’s unrealistic to hope that someone else is going to put in 110 percent while you sit back and enjoy the profits. Love may be more important than money, but it is a resource to be invested wisely. Unless you’re a total gold digger, you’re going to have to be willing and able to hold up your fair share of the bargain, and in order to do that, you’ll have to build up some equity, as in self-worth.

Think about it. By letting someone else solve all your problems for you, you’re actually abdicating control of your own destiny. As much as a new romance may be a temporary fix for what ails you, in the long run, you might just wind up resenting a partner who has, in effect, bought you, and hating yourself for letting it happen. Is that what you really want? Likely not. When you’re not happy with your life, you’re the one who needs to change it for the better, preferably before inviting anyone else along for what may prove to be a bumpy ride for the both of you.