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Reigniting the Flame: How to Reunite (Happily) With A Former Love

Reigniting the Flame: How to Reunite (Happily) With A Former LoveAre you finding yourself thinking about you ex and wishing you had a second chance at happiness?  Perhaps you feel if only you could have changed a certain toxic behavior your relationship could flourish.  Begin by examining both the good and the bad in your romantic history together.  By understanding how your relationship soured you can understand the benefits or risks of trying to reunite.  You can also recognize if certain values or goals have shifted within you since you both parted ways.  Pay special attention to recurring toxic behaviors out of your control like addiction, and polarizing values (i.e. religion, desire for children or politics).  The universe often sends us clear signs like a traffic light: Red, Yellow or Green; be willing to accept those signs to avoid further hurt.

Many issues in relationships are fixable.  Frequently partners can struggle with communication.  During your soul-searching you may find you held unrealistic expectations of your partner or carried baggage unrelated to them.  In these cases, you may be able to heal with the help of a therapist or trusted confidante, and find ways to alter negative behaviors.  You can build upon this healing to discover new ways to share your feelings with your ex and help create safe space for them to comfortably share their feelings.  This can be the biggest step to finding your way back to one another.

Religions are often centered around the concept of love and how it guides our lives.  Hinduism, teaches us Dharma and its principles are akin to the Christian Bible’s ten commandments.  Both teach us ideal behaviors for their faith. The Dharma’s highest tenant is that unconditional love must come before any other action.  Unconditional means no demands must be place on the love one feels for the something or someone.  It requires a pure heart, the openness of spirit to receives its gifts and willingness to the object of your love the freedom to be it/their true self.

If you still feel called to reunite with your lost love you may feel that you require the aid of Love Magic.  Magic should be used responsibly and only as a last resort.  Ask yourself if the magic could be destructive or harmful to yourself or your love.  You must safeguard inner freedom for both parties or dire consequences could arise.  You need to ensure any love that could result from this reunion is pure of heart and not manufactured or manipulated.  The highest vibrations of love and joy occur when one rids themselves of the idea of “want” and “I must.” By speaking a “want” to strongly a spirit can find themselves constantly seeking, while “I musts” create a pattern of toxic dissatisfaction and unrealistic ideals.  Both terms create and maintain blocks from your spirit obtaining beneficial opportunities and lessons.  To truly grow and thrive, encourage a steady energy flow.  If one is not careful with their use of magic, then you could be creating blocks and potential trouble for yourself or your love.

Instead of magic, one should focus their quest for love anew with feeling whole within themselves.  Like RuPaul says “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love someone else.”  Discover what you enjoy most about yourself and find ways of maintain your health.  When you are happy and at peace, it radiates out and attracts opportunities to your life.  By cultivating inner happiness, you can begin to strengthen your relationship with yourself and all you hold dear.  Hold important conversations with yourself and the divine.  Build upon these conversations to teach yourself skills to better communicate with others, especially a romantic partner.  This will promote a harmonious relationship and allow you both to experience joy and fulfillment.  Misunderstandings happen and triggers can be pressed.  But an easy exchange of words and ultimately thoughts, help smooth the rough patches and prevents unhealthy expectations, fights and hurt feelings.  In a healthy and happy relationship both partners should feel free to be their authentic self without fear of expectations, demands, or worse, ultimatums.  This includes freedom from self-imposed barriers to personal satisfaction.  By ensuring your own happiness and contentment with life you help maintained free-flowing love energy.  You will feel confident in your self-worth and avoid becoming co-dependent in any relationship.

If you are struggling to be at peace with yourself it can feel like an insurmountable task.  It is possible to influence your perspective on feelings.  A feeling is a fleeting and you can choose your reaction.  The Divine’s biggest goal for us is to love and be gentle with ourselves.  How kindly are you treating yourself?  Meet yourself and your feelings with compassion and curiosity.  As you understand your feelings and reactions better you can make more concerted efforts to create future actions more loving.  Accept yourself, warts and all.  If this too seems overwhelming, strive to accept smaller chunks.  Before you know it, the larger pieces won’t seem so daunting.  Eventually you need to address the fears of being alone or losing a loved one.  The goal is to know that you are good enough on your own and a partner only magnifies your joy, not creates it.  A parting is only a change of personal needs and allows you both to find a love that better amplifies these revised values or goals.

“But I still want my ex back!”  Begin by setting that intention and undertake the process with pure intention in your heart.  Recall hurdles you encountered and what you personally are willing to do to avoid repeated behaviors.  Be willing to be honest and vulnerable with yourself.  Next. think about the things that brought you together and activities that help you feel more bonded to each other.  If you both enjoyed playing a sport, begin to get more involved with an organized league or pick-up games with your (ideally shared) friends.  Continue to build your inner world and grow your personal interests so you can have more substantive conversations if you should happen to run into each other.

When you feel ready facilitate a meeting in a casual setting.  During the meeting focus on them and new happenings in their life.  Ask open ended questions or offer conversation points that encourage light-hearted dialogue.  If your ex is responsive and engaged, focus on rebuilding a friendship first.  Allow time to pass so you can both understand your current priorities.  Trying journaling your thoughts and experiences so you can continue to grow and maintain healthy intentions.  Continue to develop beneficial communication patterns and enjoy having conversations with them on various topics.  Strive to be balanced in talking and active listening.  By having a true interest in what one is sharing you strengthen a bond and a likelihood for romance.  Be willing to compromise and learn from them.  Avoid creating a romance if compromises are not occurring on both sides.  The goal for any lasting and happy relationship is for both partners to feel free in spirit, valued and joyful.

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